Why You May Not Marry Your Soulmate

Updated: Jan 9

*Trigger Warning...yikes...*

9 times out of 10, a soulmate is NOT someone you will marry...

Soulmates enter our lives with the objective to help us, assist us in our healing journeys and steer us in the right direction when we lose our 'purpose'. For this reason, they are more often than not a platonic, friendship connection.

1. A Soulmate Is Not Always Romantic

I had to say it first because this is the most obvious reason!

Soulmates enter our lives with the objective to help us, assist us in our healing journeys and steer us in the right direction when we lose our 'purpose'. For this reason, they are more often than not a platonic, friendship connection.

We may even be lucky to call many of our family members soulmates but regardless of 'blood ties', a soulmate is easily identified for the natural, effortless, helpful and 'kindred' nature of the connection you share.

When you meet, you click!

Conversation is effortless and the way you entered each other's lives can be quite the story to tell.

2. You Will Have MANY Soulmates In Your Lifetime

Following my previous point, a soulmate isn't always romantic and may even be a close family member or friend you've known since childhood. For this reason, you do not have one single soulmate.

You will encounter many soulmates before you find the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with. They are grounding, healing energies that help us on our journey through this life.

A soulmate will continuously be brought into your life whenever you lose your 'purpose' and some only stay for short periods of time, while others may come and go for the rest of our lives. A rare few stay throughout our lifetimes, which leads me onto point #3...

3. A Soulmate's Existence In Your Life Is Temporary

It is important to understand that a soulmate's purpose is to guide us, help us and instigate periods of healing and growth.

Once the path (healing) has been cleared and the purpose (growth) reinstated, the 'soul contract' has been fulfilled and you no longer need that soulmate in your life.

These endings can be painful, confusing and counter-intuitive...

Here is somebody who helped you, likely cared for you until you were strong enough to take care of yourself, how can you abandon them now?

First of all, you aren't abandoning anyone. Choosing to stay with a soulmate who has fulfilled their soul contract with you means that you are also limiting their growth and potential. As dependant as you may be on each other and as much history as you may share together, an ending is inevitable and it is important to know that you will each continue to grow separately without each other.

In fact, at times a soulmate will leave your life when you've become too dependant on them. You suddenly find yourself feeling more attracted or compelled towards other people and other situations. Suddenly, your life with them isn't satisfying you anymore. Suddenly, your interests aren't shared and you struggle to maintain that close, kindred connection you once had. Having a dependable person in your life can be a helpful rehabilitation tool but after the healing is done, they start to feel like extra baggage.

At this point in the blog, I need to be very clear here and tell you that nobody can tell you when to leave a relationship except your own inner-voice. While others may point out your unhappiness and unfulfillment, it is between you and that person to end your connection.

Also see my blog on Understanding Karma here... to know when and where to draw the boundaries on other people's healing journeys...

4. A Soulmate Reminds Us To Stay Present...

And to not let the past hold us back nor the future confuse us from making the most out of our current opportunities. We may look back at our past memories with soulmates with a feeling of naivety and at times recklessness...

Why did we do that dangerous and somewhat silly thing? How did we not get caught or injured?

There is a sense of 'childlike foolishness' in a soulmate relationship that reminds us to be carefree.

For this reason, some soulmates aren't intended to be fixed-figures in our lives. They come and go when we need them, when life becomes too distracting and our day-to-day life becomes too mundane.

A soulmate may not be the best marital partner because their main purpose in our lives is to help us instigate foolish, childish moments of joy, happiness and abundance, regardless of the inhibitions of our day-to-day lives.

This is also why most soulmates are those quirky, fun, carefree friends we only see once in a blue moon! To marry them would be to change the dynamic you share, conforming them into a standard they were never intended to fit.

In summary, this list is not exhaustive nor meant to discredit any of the marvellous soulmate connections you may have in your life currently.

It is important for us to identify our soulmates and know what purpose they serve in our lives. A soulmate's existence is intentional and intended to help us, even if they only stay for a short time.

And while every soulmate has a 'soul contract' to fulfil, some of those contracts do absolutely include children, marriage and a long, happy life. Regardless of whether they stay or go, life would be painfully dull without them:

"To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence." - Smith S. 1855 'Lady Holland's Memoir - Of Friendship'.

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